After attending a few services at the church I currently attend, I found myself yearning for whatever it was that so many of the young men and women on our praise and worship team have. The depth of their intimate relationships with God were palpable, and stirring. But I didn't want to just feel moved by the expression of someone else. I wanted my own personal version. It didn't take long for me to realize that the format of the services was very intentionally designed to help worshipers learn to recognize the calling of the Holy Spirit. Going to church, for both myself and my teenage children, soon became a the most wonderful and vital part of our week.
What followed over the ensuing weeks and months I would now describe as a form of self-imposed total immersion therapy. It wasn't something I felt I had to do, or needed to do, but something I felt blissfully drawn to do. I sought ways to volunteer and get involved in some of the myriad ministries and groups in the church. My daughter and I joined the drama team. I got to know the core members of the ministerial staff. If there was a special teaching series or a new film screening, I was there.
The love I began to feel for my brothers and sisters in Christ was overwhelming. I soon found myself desiring to spend more time in prayer and bible study, and less time allowing my mind to be flooded with impure images and language through the media. I put my radio on a station that played only uplifting Christian music, and have left it there. I observed my kids following suit, of their own accord. Before long, I realized what I'd always heard was true, that if one actively seeks to know and be close to God, He will respond and run to meet you where you are. It's exactly what the parable of the prodigal son is meant to convey. God is just waiting and longing for us to come home to Him.
Just another thought: I don't think anyone who's gone through a difficult childhood or traumatic life experience can come to know God in an intimate way by just talking with others about Him and His attributes. I believe, for certain people, it's necessary that they position themselves to be surrounded by people who've already developed such a relationship. Spending a lot of time with others who are new to the faith, or likewise struggling, is not the way to go. That usually results in confusion and going in circles, totally unproductive, even disheartening.
ReplyDelete